“There are so many lies that have damaged women, and the lies around birth break my heart….what women are told they can’t do… doesn’t matter if you had shoulder dystocia before….doesn’t mean you will again….and letting your baby gestate until he is ready to emerge is NOT a dangerous thing to do as long as baby is healthy….and an ultrasound cannot tell you that your placenta is done an
d placentas don’t really expire….and having a previous episiotomy does not mean you can’t birth without tearing ( I did it three times without even a skidmark after a vaginal cesarean) and cervical lips are well…just that..the cervix is anatomically divided into two lips with different composition at the side, lips sometimes swell, true, but we would not know that if we did not have our hands in there exacerbating any problem that MIGHT exist,.the killer cervical lip is a made up idea. and you can have a first baby at home…you do not need to go prove your pelvis at the hospital where they have a big investment in proving it inadequate. Women are told lies about pre eclampsia, gestation diabetes, placenta previa (low lying placenta in early ultrasounds) health or unhealth of baby, all the time……. I understand that we believe what we are told and I understand getting all defensive at the thought that we might have been duped or that we might have let someone else make decisions for us that did not turn out the way we had hoped… hospital birth is a classic hospital horror story….a litany of disasters …..but here is the hard part…..disasters of my own making….I did not do the research, I trusted the wrong people, I did not make my own decisions, I went to the hospital for a normal function of biology. I tried to reassign responsibility, but I live with ALL the consequences, and my baby lives with all the consequences…..I was lied to (blood from electronic fetal monitor screwed into eyelid was: YOU HAD SOMETHING SHARP INSIDE YOU HE GOT CAUGHT ON ON THE WAY OUT!)….Your baby is in trouble (when it was the doc who was going to be in trouble with his wife for being late to dinner according to the conversation between the nurses I heard while pretending to be asleep so as to slow down the number of hands going in me….You are too small down there….when doc had just a few months before told me i could have a horse…. your nipples are dirty when they handed me the alcohol swab to clean them before i could put baby to breast…..circumcision doesn’t hurt baby….tell that to my baby who was bloody and mutilated and screaming for days….your breastmilk is not sufficient…here, pump cereal down him (at 10 days of age)… I could have bought in to those lies and worn them as a badge of some sort, indicating how unique I am or how unlucky I am or how something or other I am….but I chose to take my ego out of the equation and take responsibility for the whole thing and use my anger and disappointment to determine to make things better for other mothers, and for my future babies….I don’t have to be victimized by the lies…..but once….after that….it is on to truth….birth is safe; interference is risky.” – Carla Hartley

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